GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
