All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
