True but thats because hes a fetus.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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