Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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