glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
