you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh god it's open bar.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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