Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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