Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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