You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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