Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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