Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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