i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
