Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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