I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
