I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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