Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
