She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
