Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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