batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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