hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
