I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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