Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
