It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
