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so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
