If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just googled if crying burns calories
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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