David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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