worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
