Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
