i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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