The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
