wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
