1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
