i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
