I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize