You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
