I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
