i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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