I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
