how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
