hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
