Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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