Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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