He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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