arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
