dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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