so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
