Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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