you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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