She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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