What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
