I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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