dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
