I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize