Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
