Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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