Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i think my cat just said my name.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize