So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
