none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
