Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
