Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize