i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
