Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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