i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's shark week go big or go home
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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