so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
