I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
