He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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