its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize