real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
