If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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