as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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